Selfishness

I am fixated by
the way your laughter
explodes despite your
half-hearted attempts to stifle;
I would like to be the cause.

I think of how your smile reaches
your eyes; creasing in such a way
that only increases your beauty, your
honesty, your
splendor.

I want to sit and share
myself; to learn
about you.
Where you come from,
how we are similar, how
we are different.

I daydream of us speaking,
but each time we draw near I
am flummoxed, confounded,
and all the other synonyms listed
in the thesaurus.

There is a flurry in my chest at
even the thought of your proximity.
I want to impress you, to find out if
these feelings are just flattering fancy or
if the connection I feel truly exists.

I have been fooled before; attraction
can be such a burden to bear,
especially when it is carried alone.

But I am selfish; or
have you not
been paying attention?

I haven’t thought about
what you want;
not even once.

by Erik Shinker

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